Soo many buttons with so many choices!

The MRT crew is well aware of Versatile’s ability to upgrade anything with absurdities that would even surprise the Pimp My Ride crew.  A standard upgrade would most likely include new wheels, stereo system or even headlights whereas Versatile’s upgrade ideas are like a UPS label… outide the box.  His gnarliest upgrade to Optimus Prime can only be described as the wild wild west of boozin on the go — the Soda Liquor Gun!

Bars have soda guns that provide quick access to various pop, tonic, soda, juices, tonic and lemonade, but they also have the burden of grabbing a bottle to add the booze to a drink.  No longer with the Soda-Booze Gun.  This 14-shooter at a click of a button delivers pop (coke zero, diet dew, sprite zero – we’re watching our girlish figures on the road), soda water, straight H20 for morning hydration, fruit punch, orange juice, vodka, whiskey and rum straight to your glass.  In a bus cruising down the highway at 65 miles per hour hitting potholes and jostling back back and forth, this is extremely clutch when working on your inebriation.

Check out the video which adds Vodka, then Fruit Punch and finishes with Sprite Zero to make a delicious drink in seconds!

VIDEO: Soda Liquor Gun
[See post to watch QuickTime movie]

The Nola connections of the MRT crew all pointed us to Lucy’s Retired Surfers Bar for their fine food, great drinks and gorgeous wait staff. Whether your enjoying a cold drink or ordering from their delicious menu, the ladies running this place make you feel at home with their welcoming smiles and witty humor. Lucy’s is a must stop while in the Big Easy so make sure to try the Crawfish Enchilada Omelete and wash it down with a homemade bloody mary – its a great start to a fantastic city. (May 2011)

Best Flying J in the U.S.

Day 2 cont…….On the road again. We badly wanted to be in New Orleans but unfortunately it is not as close to Nashville as we had hoped. Optimus Prime needed to take a dump badly. This led us to the best Flying J in the country just South of Montgomery, AL. Little did the MRT team know we would be gracefully welcomed by the greatest truck stop manager of all time, Tim Tuttleberry (or TT for short, but don’t get it confused with Siv).

TT not only helped OP drop a two piece, but he provided the MRT team with a delicious fresh pizza. The pizza was deemed by one lady as, “da best pizza in da souf!” It was slightly undercooked and very doughy and proved a great pick me-up for the MRT team after the disaster that was Milo’s special sauce.

As we finished the dump stop, one of the favorite sightings of the MRT (to this point) pulled up to the water pump in an early 90s Astro van. With 32 inch arms, Wanda was ready to do work!

As we watched and played “would you rather” at the expense of Wanda’s lovely curves, we were approached by Wendall, who is a local Pepsi truck driver. Wendall was not a small man in stature but a big man at heart and decided to give us his 30 second elevator pitch on why we should hire him for the rest of the trip (which was thoroughly convincing). In a genius move P said his first interview would consist of getting a phone number from Wanda along with a quick makeout sesh.

In the quote of the hour, Wendall responded with, “Damn dog, you know I don’t wrestle bears!” This was just the motivation the MTR crew needed to keep pushing to N’Orleans.

Day 2……”I feel like I got donkey punched!” Thanks for the insight P. Everyone was a more than a little groggy to say the least as we arose this morning. Greeted by unwelcome sunlight, the smell of booze and testosterone, and according to TJ “the very abrasive smell of car exhaust” (said in a whiny annoying voice) we slowly stirred and motivated to get up and feed our faces. Judging by the number of parking tickets that we had recieved, it was time to go anyways. We put Nashville in our rear view mirror and it was time to head towards the next destination……NEW ORLEANS! But let’s not get ahead of ourselves, we need to get some food first. Hello IHOP, 20 pitchers of water and a lot of coffee stat!

After a long night of giving it everything we had we reluctantly left the bars and headed back to Optimus Prime hoping to stir up a late night shindig and keep the party rolling on into the night. We meandered through the streets of Nashville, stopping briefly as we were harassed by a local d-bag, and finally ended up at our final destination. We cranked up the music and started pouring the dranks and turned Optimus Prime into a late night party. Drinks were had inside the bus and on top of the bus as we partied until the wee hours of the morning. Finally we packed into Optimus in every way we could, whether it be on the floor, on the couch, on the recliners, or spooning in beds, and called it a night. Thank you Nashville!!

There is only one way to end the night

Day 1 cont……A few doors down from where we were earlier in the night we found ourselves ending the bar scene at Tootsies. Known for its live music Nashville did not disappoint as we went three for three at Tootsies with another live band. The band was set up all over the bar from the front window to the main bar itself and they were closing out the night by rocking the crowd. We all enjoyed our last couple of beverages before last call with a live and interactive crowd which included a bachelorette party and a giant pink inflated penis that repetitively assualted P’s face. Our time in the bars had run out and it was now time to head back to Optimus Prime for some late night drinks and sleep.

Bar number 3, Tin Roof

Day 1 cont…..Unloading out of a packed out taxi we headed into our next stop in Nashville, Tin Roof. Greeted by another live band, singing Sir Mix a Lot Baby Got Back, we rushed into Tin Roof to observe round 2 of the dance off between TJ, P, and the ladies from the Stage. The ladies put up a much better fight this time around but the MRT boys’ hips don’t lie and they were telling a story of domination. The girls hid their disappointment well and we all headed to the bar for drinks and shots. The bartenders and the shots at Tin Roof were first class but on this Thursday night it was not very crowded so we decided that there was more of Nashville out there for us to experience so just as we arrived, overly packed into a taxi, we departed Tin Roof and headed back to Broadway. (On a side note if you are looking for a good make out spot at Tin Roof apparently right outside of the girls bathroom is the spot, or so we observed)

Starting at the Stage

Day 1 cont…..The MRT boys headed into the Stage next and were greeted by a live band and a live crowd. A solid mix of ages and genders gave the Stage a great crowd that was both into singing along with the band and enjoying drinks and shots. We were instantly popular as people flocked to get there two cents in on camera. Many beers and shots were enjoyed and a vicious dance battle ensued between TJ, P, and a couple of the ladies at the bar (easily won by the MRT combo, naturally). Wanting to see all that Nashville had to offer while we were in town we headed out to the next bar packed deep into a taxi.

The weather and AC’s luck soon turned. There was a hold on the plane going from ATL to Nashville. AC overheard a medic explaining that a man had suffered a heart attack on the plane and they couldnt move him. Medics with long faces finally pulled the man off the plane (he was eventually alright).

During the 2 hour delay AC went to the airport bar to kill time, shared a shot of makers with a Philly business man who was naturally well versed in whore houses and “spas” in the three major cities the MRT would be hitting. After that shady unsolicited info, AC heard the plane to Nashville was finally boarding and got on it. But due to lightning bolts striking literally yards from the plane to Nashville, it sat on the tarmack for another hour. 3 hours of delays later AC’s plane full of pissed off passengers lands. The woman to whom AC forfieted his window seat to now having an anxiety attack pushing AC trying to get off the plane, cursing him out.

AC was thirsty to get this experience behind him and be the lone wolf no more. After contact with P and a plan made to meet downtown, AC headed to BB Kings Blues Club to drown the travelling nightmares aggressively. Luckily he didn’t do so alone, meeting an equally motivated local girl named Michelle who initiated her shot invention: Double shot of Jameson w/ a small chase of gourmet pickle juice which AC named a “Heart Attack”. Tuned up, AC was a happy SOB to unite with the MRT boys on Broadway.

The boys had a quick bite at Baileys bar restaurant where a live band was playing.As dinner ended AC, wasted, wasted no time to make a scene to make up for lost time playing Led Zeppelin’s “Ramble On” with the band at Bailey’s. The crew headed to The Stage next door….

Versatile decided early on that in order to properly document such an amazing feat of human nature that the Maxim Road Trip needed a professional. Insert Kam, our brilliant, talented, and quite handsome cameraman. Whether we are interviewing people at our various stops or going full speed through an inflatable maze, Kam has the camera and the skill to capture it all on film. Check out his skills at www.KammoFilms.com to see how f’n rad this man is at his art.

Nice to meet you sir, you can call me Shorts

Day 1 cont….The crew grew by one as we hit downtown Nashville and the much anticipated arrival of AC finally become a reality. He met us outside of the bars equipped with his luggage and some inside information on the local hotspots that he had acquired during his undercover stint as a bar patron. We were ready to get some drinks and a quick bite to eat and hit the town hard, but first AC needed to fill us in on what took him so long to arrive in Nashville and his experience on his inbound flight.

parked and ready to roll in Nashville

Day 1 cont…..Optimus Prime finally arrived in Nashville, Tennessee after a quick trip of boozing and male bonding. We searched the city and even talked to a police officer to find a spot to park Optimus for both partying and sleeping. After we found a spot (5 spots) we parked and filed out towards downtown Nashville in search of food and AC who had been patiently drinking and waiting for us at the bars.

Kam ready for action

Versatile decided early on that in order to properly document such an amazing feat of human nature that the Maxim Road Trip needed a professional. Insert Kam, our brilliant, talented, and quite handsome cameraman. Whether we are interviewing people at our various stops or going full speed through an inflatable maze, Kam has the camera and the skill to capture it all on film. Check out his skills at www.KammoFilms.com to see how f’n rad this man is at his art.

TJ redeeming himself on the superman course.

Day 1 continued… After what can only be described as a grueling full body workout at the Jump Zone we decided it was time for an all male group shower. After all, what better way was there to remove the bottles of baby oil that we had doused all over ourselves thanks to the Jump Zone staff? Optimus Prime headed over to the nearby athletic club and after some smooth distractions were laid down by Versatile the whole crew worked its way through the weight room and into the locker room. We picked up Wasa who had been hot tubbing with a couple of 80 year old companions and headed in for a group wash down. After the fifth or sixth set of wrinkly balls we encountered on the way to the showers Kam had to dip out with the cameras and let us clean up. We piled back on the bus, some half clothed some fully clothed, and finished primping as we started up Optimus and headed for downtown Nashville.

Eventually the MaximRoadTrip guys were too exhausted from competing against eachother and challenged the employees at the Jump Zone. Little did we know that they have done their homework on the course and were prepared to beat our ass cause thats exactly what they did. Unfortunately, TJ was the weak link of the course and cost us many a titles. He did keep up his consumption of his adult beverages so at the end of the day, he is still a winner.

More to come with pictures and descriptions, but we’re exhausted of running through an obstacle course and prepared to get blacked out. See you all on the flip side…

First drawer, top choice is copious amounts of advil. Hangovers are only temporary.

Next stop we picked up Cam, our videographer for the trip. Check out Cam’s work at Kammofilms.com to see some of his sick work.

Back on the road and headin to Nashville for something crazy and meeting up with the rest of the crew… AC, TJ, Wasa and Clintorious. See you guys soon.

As the originator of Maxim Road Trip, Versatile has upgraded the trip from Notorious B.U.S., the very un-roadworthy 1962 GMC City Bus, to Optimus Prime, the Gulf Stream Tourmaster T-40F. His mad-max lifestyle as a firefighter/entrepreneur/electronics-guru/inventor-by-day supports his Mr. Wizard meets Batman bravado by night. Versatile tricks out anything he gets his hands on and Optimus Prime is no exception. Look for Versatile to be dodging cops like the Matrix and singing Elvis on stage at any bar, but never try to out-do the ultimate one-upper.

A lifelong Maxim Road Trip participant, P flirts with that invisible line between absurdity and restraint, often leading to situations of hilarity. He’s traveled the outback with Clint/John/Alex, shunned his Mr. Wizard degree at Denison and chopped the top off a 1989 Cadillac Eldorado that he still drives today. Beware because if P’s not participating in something ludicrous then he’s instigating someone else for the enjoyment of the crew.

An alumnus of the first MRT and Denison University, Clintorious has gallivanted across the world by bumming rides from strangers, crashing on couches/floors/roofs, jumping off 80’ waterfalls and hunting crocodiles with homemade spears. You may have even noticed the ever-adventurous Clintorious climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro with the Neistat Brothers on HBO. If there is fun and danger to be had, this curly haired ladies-man will conquer it with ease.

This veteran Maxim Road Tripper is a Denison Alum with roots in Boston and an insatiable appetite for extravagant fun. When AC’s not in the lab mixing up the next super drug of our generation, he’s shooting homemade potato guns 500 yards into the ocean, hosting bonfires on the beach or drinking an Old Mil in upstate NY.  Look for AC anywhere the action starts as he’ll woo the ladies with his guitar or deliver a witty quip to make you laugh.

As a first timer to the MRT, the GRB is bringing his enthusiasm, love for Cincinnati and absurd amount of shoes on the road.  He is the Van Wilder of the group with his seven year undergraduate “doctorate of the college life” at Miami University. You can catch him rapping everything Luda, rocking Jordan shorts and he is always prepared for a late night of competitive crooning with competitive karaoke SingStar.

This MRT newbie is no stranger to the open road, whether its singing songs to a packed car, cruising on his motorcycle, sleeping on a beach in Oz or driving across the country to find his next radical destination. After his intellectual days at St. Michaels University, Wasa’s found adventure on the ski slopes and bartending in Colorado, the shores of Boston and everywhere in between. If you’re looking to enjoy a cold beer or baseball game, Wasa’s on the stool next to you.

As virgin MRT member, TJ amps up the personality and general noise level of this group of men. After dropping bombs with his pastrami shoulder as Wittenberg’s quarterback, he is now dropping gems with his witty humor and daily swagger. TJ’s manly physique and boisterous sound will make him easy to find especially when he’s at home on the dance floor teaching everyone how to Dougie.

The younger and more focused brother of Rusty, Senior is another MRT rookie that is adding his laid-back nature and keen intellect to the trip. Senior gives sports reporting for his alma mater, Miami University, by day and pours Water Towers by night at Oxford’s favorite watering hole. If you are looking for a drunken argument, a delicious adult beverage or someone to crank up the music, Senior is your guy.

Moonshine Printing has always been a great supporter of MaximRoadTrip.com, even when we were driving the original Maxim Road Trip Bus – the 1962 GMC City Bus – around the country. Moonshine has provided us with shirts, banners, logos, signs, you name it. Thanks again for always helping us with our printing needs. Give them a shout at moonshinescreenprinting.com to make your order today!